Measured By What Was Missing

They say LOVE comes in many forms. I can’t tell if they are right. My earliest experiences of LOVE were measured by what was missing. My mother’s very presence was taken away when I was just a few days old. She was hospitalized for severe depression. Eventually, she returned, but emotionally she often remained unavailable.

My father was there for me (and a nanny.) As I grew older his LOVE was stolen from me by the world. Ironically his motivation was to provide more opportunity for my brother and me. He loved us very much and believed his duty was to work hard and provide for us the best he knew how. I’m sure his absence was not something he chose, just necessary.

So how do I process the LOVE I’ve found today? A big part of me waits for it to be taken away. I’ve done nothing to deserve it. I’m not worthy of it. It’s probably just a dream. I’ll wake up soon and it will all be gone. The other shoe will drop. My past will catch up to me. My demons will drag me back under. All will be lost.

But wait! These are all just messages in my mind. Perhaps it’s just a matter of encoding. If I took each message and re-encoded them through the lens of healing and God’s LOVE what would these messages say?

LOVE never goes away; time goes by; tragedy happens; but LOVE never ends, forsakes, nor abandons.

I deserved to be loved; everything deserves to be loved; God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son so that you and I would have everlasting life.

My worth is immeasurable; I deserve the love of God; I am a child of God.

If it is a dream, who is the dreamer? If any shoes are gonna drop they will be a pair of bright white high-tops with gold stars sewn on them. The world and the underworld have no power over me. I will soar like an eagle. What was lost has been found. I am more than a conqueror.

Post Information

Post Date	Author	Comments	Originally Penned
August 21, 2023	frankie	0 Comments	November 8, 2013